Written by Shadow of Malice
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Wednesday, 10 November 2010

image for Bernanke Officially Makes Monopoly Money Legal Tender

In a press conference at the steps of the Federal Reserve Bank, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke announced today that as of November 15th 2010 Monopoly Money will be accepted at par value with the US Dollar.

Shortly after his announcement Monopoly Games started disappearing from store shelves all around the country. Hasbro stock tripled in price in afternoon trading on the NYSE.

Asked why he made such a bold and unexpected move Chairman Bernanke stated that "The price of energy and paper are so high that printing new dollars would cost more than their face value" adding "it will save a lot of trees, there's more than one way to be green around here."

Congress celebrated by giving themselves a huge raise and promising they will double defense spending, entitlements and earmarks during their next session.

President Obama welcomed the news and said he has ordered over a trillion monopoly games and plans to pay for his troubled Healthcare Reform, plus pay off the US foreign debt with the colorful cash.

This has the potential of sparking an international incident. Chinese president Hu Jintao said his country would not accept Monopoly Money, but might consider receiving payment in Food Stamps. The Chinese are threatening to repossess the Presidential Limousine and the White House furniture if payments are made with Monopoly money.

There have also been reports of a Monopoly Money counterfeit ring springing up in Myanmar overnight.

Zimbabwe's strongman Robert Mugabe took umbrage to the US move saying, "We've been using Monopoly money for years Ben Bernanke is nothing but a copy cat."

Gold surged to $40,000 an ounce prompting congress to pass the Gold Fill Act making fake gold officially just as valuable as real gold, triggering a rash of robberies of fake gold street peddlers.

Bernanke said he is confident that his decision will bring the US economy out of the current recession by giving Americans "a colorful new way to spend money."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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