Written by Charpa93
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Topics: Jesus

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

image for Son of God Living in Mother's Basement
Throngs gather to behold living Christ

Devoted Christians have descended on a two-story split ranch in Canton, Ohio where they claim the Son of God is residing in his mother's basement. Jason Druggard, better known to his friends as "Christ" says he can prove he is the son of God. He claims that tiny droplets form under his eyes often and fall at his bare feet. And his followers claim to have seen this phenomenon occur daily.

The people who have congregated at his basement window also claim that occasionally Christ's expression changes. Depending on what time of day it is, he can go from a sleepy grin to a disgruntled frown, but mostly, he is expressionless.

"It is a miracle," said Ricardo Cantacajones, "who has been coming to Christ's basement window every day for the past month. "This is the first time I've seen a real person embody Christ. I've been to statues that cry blood, that ooze it from their hands and feet, but this is the first time I've actually seen real tears come from Christ. It has changed my life."

The devoted have left offerings of anything from incense to gold on the lawn outside Christ's bedroom window. They believe he has even asked his mother to bring some of the incense inside to use in his daily ritual wherein a ceremonial pipe is brought forth and he raises it to his nose and mouth seemingly drinking in the smoke. The smell of incense is said to fill the air several times a day.

While Canton police officers have tried to infiltrate the growing crowd to get to the bottom of the purported phenomenon, they have not yet been able to get close enough to ascertain if this is, in fact, a true Christian miracle, or yet another hoax being perpetrated on the devout Christians. Some say that the officers go away as changed men. Others say they just go away.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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