In order to make sure that Obama's visit to India and Mumbai goes absolutely smoothly the Indian security authorities have bulldozed the local slums, banned homeless begging urchins, tripled security guards, army, police, bomb disposal units and have even asked MI5 to send Mr Bond over.
But all of these security measures cannot compare with the Mumbain Authorities desperate attempt to please the rather off-coloured (especially after the mid-term elections) President:
All coconuts have been hacked off of trees in and around Mumbai and half of India, WHAT?!
Yes, the Indian authorities feel that coconuts could be regarded as a racist image and an insult to the already rather off coloured Obama.
Jaggedone sent his special CIA (cockroach infiltration army) reporter, Mahatma Kunta-Kinte (no relation and feels quite at home in the Bombay slums!), too find out what all the coconut bullshit is about, here his report:
Bombay authorities feel that coconuts represent African slaves hiding in coconut trees before they were caught and shipped to America.
Half of Obama's forefathers were slaves and this could offend him and has nothing to do with coconuts falling off of the trees and killing "litte" people, they don't give a shit about them!
News Flash: Special CIA reporter Mahatma Kinta-Kunta (RIP) atempted to dash on all six legs from under a coconut tree, one dropped, SPLAT, too late, UUGH!
Thank God-Ghandi (Indian God) that he threw his laptop at an amused coconut hacker otherwise this epic spoof would never have reached HQ!