Written by Neil Levine
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Topics: New York, Washington

Friday, 1 July 2005

image for John Bolten Wades into the Fray
John Bolton IN A C T I O N ! ! ! !

Washington and New York and Other Points of Interest--Invoking arguments from as many historic and political precedents as humanely possible, including analogies to Christ on a Coss of Silver, Lincoln, Churchill and other esteemed figures from history, John Bolton presented his case to be UN Ambassador from the United States to an audience of his pears, and peachy keens, too.


You can argue on the beaches, you can cavil on the streets, you can rail in the mountains, but please don't give me a headache, don't chew my head off, don't hate me cause I'm beautiful. Cause I have come to win the day and a winning day is what I seek.


Let me once again set forth the automatic axiomatic self evident truth that a House divided against itself cannot stand itself, even though this is the Senate and Senatorial privilege above all else is more important than good manners or even a fair hearing or even good government.


While in mud wrestling there are rules and irregulars and plenty of dirty towels to make the rounds and a good ruler will show you a foot if you take an inch or two, I can see unfair currency manipulation as an affront to let us hassle, although it is unclear whether money is everything or merely an excuse to conduct business. Maybe it just counts for something and, indeed, will add up to filthy lucre every time. Is there anything else? .


Remember you can fool some of the people who are foolish and you can fool all of the people who are fools, but you can't fool me!!! If it's action you want, then it is action you'll get. This is a speech about action as opposed to inaction, inertia, or just dumb luck. Let there be no doubt that these are exciting times and the times call for excitement. We can get the job done, yessiree, Bubbelah.


Let me make one thing perfectly clear. Without John Bolton to kick around, who are you going to kick upstairs. Inquiring minds want to know!!


Go ahead, make my day. Make me an offer I can't refuse. You know we're not in Kansas anymore. We're not even lost yet. Wait until recalcitrance and obfuscation win out. That'll be the day!!


So who you gonna call? Who you gonna call? What you gonna do? Honk-me? Remember never have so many owed so much to so few politicians and deservedly so!!


In conclusion, I ask, "You talking to me. You talking to me. Who do you think you're talking to? What you talking about?" With malice towards none and charity for all, especially the Democrats, I need this job and intend to win in a landslide, if not a hands down vote. Can you hear me now? I know you can!


I intend to hang tough and hang in there and hang pictures of heroes in the naves of the nabes. May the farce be with you." And God bless the little ones. I wish you all a good night. Ho, ho, ho.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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