Written by Jan-Michael
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Thursday, 30 June 2005

image for National Debt reaches $7,826,689,777,692.15, Bush Plans National Debt Payment Plan
Bush Talks About National Debt at Press Conference in Camp David

The national debt has been reported to be only $7,826,689,777,692.15 as of the 30th of June, 2005. That's only a couple trillion more than all others countries combined. So what does this mean? It means that, according to the estimated population here in America (296,430,852), each citizen owes $26,403.15. President Bush said today that citizens would be allowed to use all major credit cards or make out the checks to "U.S. Department of Treasury." The address is:

Department of the Treasury
1500 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, D.C. 20220
Fax: (202) 622-6415

This is the first major step President Bush has taken to lower the "deficit" since being "elected" into office. So why expect the American people "to" pay for "such" a debt?

"Because it's the people's fault that it, uh, come to that," says Bush at a press conference at Camp David, "they live here too, why should I have to pay for it? Like my daddy always said, Money don't….trees…… grow on money….That means that I don't have indefinite moneys." Bush went on to say that 10% of all the proceeds from the N.D.P.P. or the National Debt Payment Plan, will be going to other countries, to help pay for their debt. Struggling countries like France, Uzbekistabaniana, Iran, Saudi Arabia, and of course, Iraq and Sweden, have gladly accepted the proposed donations. But a couple liberals are outraged about such a plan. "It's not our fault that the country is in debt. It has been in debt for years, and Bush is making it worse. The National Debt Payment Plan (N.D.P.P.) will not work. Some people might not even have $26,403.15 to their name. What about those people? We are now truly….In.Da.Pee.Pee. And vote for Kerry!" says Michael Moore, famous documentarianatic scientist. But the president has finally answered those questions raised by Mr. Moore.

"Simply put," says Bush, "if an American doesn't have $26,403.15 to pay for their outstanding debts, they will be prosecuted, charged, and raped by the IRS. Because that's what the IRS does. The IRS means…I forget……the Internal, Revenue….Society. They are a group of patriots that get money for the government, our government, anyway they can. And that's what we need. Because 9/11 happened. And we patriots need to recognize that, before it's too late."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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