Written by K.C. Bell
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Sunday, 31 October 2010

image for Senator Harry Reid To Debate Empty Chair

Nevada senatorial incumbent Harry Reid has decided to hold one last final debate, taking all questions, while standing next to an empty chair. In the final days of the 2010 Congressional Election Campaign with poll numbers close, his opponent, Sharron Angle, is making road-runner dashes from car to plane, refusing to take questions, and trying to run out the clock.

A side debate to this debate was raised: whether or not Reid's campaign committee should go ahead and paste a picture of Ms. Angle's face on the back rest of the chair. That debate raised a second debate: whether or not to use a pasted picture of the back of Ms. Angle's head - which is the only way the electorate currently is able to view and recognize her - or to use a full frontal photograph of her face.

It was decided that an empty metal folding chair would appear to be disrespectful, (particularly with a potted plant resting on the seat) so a chair with a red cushion was decided on instead. A wrench was thrown into that decision when someone suggested that a cushioned chair might imply hemorrhoids or sexist, "a woman's place is in the home."

So, a concrete garden bench will be used with a framed photograph of a smiling Ms. Angle resting on top. Cheers!

Unwilling to make lemonade out of the debate issue, though she is quick to tell rape victims not to seek abortions and to instead make lemonade out of their particular situation, Ms Angle plans to ignore the empty chair debate and rely on her supporters not to notice the difference. After all, her only answer is the lemonade solution for others.

Senator Harry Reid plans to wear a top hat, black tie and tails, dance on stage with a Bob Fosse slide, bouncing his cane from hand to hand and answer every question. After all, he represents the state of Nevada, land of twenty-four hour Las Vegas bright lights, home of Sinatra, Howard Hughes, Area 51, and the nuclear test sites. Nevada didn't become Nevada on lemonade. Clocks move forward.

Cheers!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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