A study by a major mental health care clinic in Minnesota has just released a study relating to the mental health of Tea Party members in the US. It states that eighty-seven percent of the group are afflicted with ABB, the acronym for Anal, Banal, and not too Bright.
The study was an extensive research project, done in conjunction with a previous study of DNA and IQ studies of the same group. The previous studies showed a correlation of the average IQ of the focus group and body temperatures, which tended to be exactly ten points lower than the average body temperature of 98.2.
"We have no explanation for this phenomenon as well as the fact that most of these people are cousins," said a statement from the clinic.
The other points in the study are self explanatory.
Anal: a personality marked by excessive orderliness, extreme meticulousness, and often suspicion and reserve.
According to psychoanalysis, an anal personality is formed in early childhood as a result of efforts to control bowel movements and often leads to aggressive behavior.
Banal: banal (adj) • banality (n) ... Synonyms: commonplace, hackneyed, prosaic, predictable, ordinary, dull, boring, clichéd, trivial.
Many in the Tea Party were outraged by the study and demanded a retraction of some kind. Fox news talking heads were ranting non-stop. Not all, however, reacted in the same manner. T. J. McCorkle, of Louisburg, NC was asked by a reporter what he thought about being labeled ABB.
T.J. replied, "That's great!"
Reporter: "T.J., what do you think that means?"
T. J. replied: "Means: Atta Boy Bubba! I can't wait to tell little T. J. He'll want to be an ABB too!"
Reporter: "I'm sure he will be T. J. --- I'm sure he will be."