Langley, Va - (Shoo-in Bomber Mess): A massive great big Xmas bonus awaits the Vatican head of counter-antiterrorism CIA top brass said this weekend.
Second only to '25 years of George W Bush sobriety' theories the 'Yemeni Al Qaeda' Chicago synagogues bombing plotline has been described as a work of unprecedented genius.
The stunning free publicity coup claimed the Halloween spectacular may have been targeting mayoral wannabe Rahm Emanuel, Illinois FBI sources confirmed this morning.
The ex-Presidential attack dog has been widely tipped for the Windy Shitty (sic) top job after years of working his tutu-assed guts out.
His campaign had already received a welcome shot in the arm with Tom Dart's re-election withdrawal on Wednesday.
In 2009 the Cook County Sheriff had hinted heavily that some Obama White House 2008 presidential campaign bigwigs 'might be buried' in secret graves at the Burr Oak Cemetery.
Declaring its entire 150 acreage a crime scene Dart closed down the burial site after a FBI body count recorded 147,568 internments against a corpse capacity of only 5,000.
Presidential right-hand woman Valerie Jarret is the undisputed Capitol Hill 2010 Halloween Queen.