US Police officials have today announced a crackdown on 'gun shaped' fruit, specifically bananas, from American airports.
"We find it imperative in times like this," the announcer said, "that we crackdown on all possible crimes, real or not, before they happen. We find this especially true when it comes to filthy foreign fruits like bananas."
The idea comes after one member of the airport staff at JFK airport sued the parents of a young boy who was wielding a banana "in the way of a gun". The staff member has since been unable to return to work due to stress.
Indeed, we were privy to a demonstration of the crackdown as my camera-man, Roy, stupidly unpealed a large yellow and black-spotted Chiquita during the speech. Within seconds, Roy was manhandled to the ground and the banana was taken away to be destroyed in a controlled explosion.
Actually, Roy is still missing...but that's not important to you, the reader.
Some have criticised the move as being anti-banana.