Written by Evan Essence
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Topics: George W. Bush, duck

Thursday, 30 June 2005

image for Politcal Analysts Say Bush is a ‘Lame Duck'

Some are calling him a ‘Quack'. Some say he is the Daffiest and Daftest person to have ever been elected President of the United States. Now, the American people have started Crying Fowl. And political analysts are declaring that George W. Bush is now a ‘Lame Duck'.

Following a string of defeats, in which many Republicans broke ranks, and voted with the Democrats, many analysts believe Bush's goose is cooked. Bush's approval ratings have dropped to 44%. Now 59% of Americans now oppose his War for Iraqi Oil. And only 25% agree with his approach to dismantling Social Security.

Republicans in Washington are trying to distance themselves from George Bush's aura of incompetance.

Now the economy is sputtering along, and all the rosy promises of a massive economic recovery have been forgotten. "Remember that $197 billion that would have been in the National Treasury, if it hadn't been given away as tax breaks to the wealthy? ..... Its all gone overseas." said Harvard economist Barney Hampton.

This is what economists often refer to as "Trickle-Overseas Economics". The wealthy investors who recieved this money as tax breaks, would have been stupid to invest it in the United States, where they would get a lower return. So they invested it overseas, in countries that are competing with us, where they could get a greater return, based on cheaper labor. Economists agree that tax rebate money has all gone overseas, and even while the US economy is sputtering, the global economy is booming, encouraging investors to move more money out of the US stock market, and invest it overseas.

People are waking up with a hang-over, and realizing that ‘the Party is Over'. Their pensions are gone. Their 401K plans have disappeared, and now George Bush is trying to dismantle Social Security. America's Health Insurance Plans, for those who are lucky enough to have them, have been reduced to Third World medicine, with the proliferation of HMO's. And the few jobs that have been created are marginal and without benefits.

Even ordinary Republicans are starting to wonder why they were goose-stepping behind a feather-brained do-do-bird who skyrocketed federal spending to record levels, and increased the Federal Debt Limit by $984 billion.

"This is a man who has less than a third grade level command of the English language," said Bill Wharton, a Republican car salesman in Oaks Grove, Ohio.

"Admittedly he is the dumbest cluck we have ever stood behind," said Republican Senator Arlan Spector. "Its hard to know who looked stupider....a president who botches every phrase he utters, or those patriotic American citizens who bobbled their heads and squawked in agreement at every thing he said."

Republicans are now abandoning the president, in droves, in fear that his clumsiness and incompetance will endanger the future of their exclusive Rich Boy's Benefits Club.

"The last thing we want is for Democrats to get mobilized." said Republican political consultant Vito Giordano. "If the Democrats finally get it together, they could sweep both Houses of Congress. At this point we need to dump the president, and pretend that we never had anything to do with him."

Editors note: Evan Essence recieved his Masters Degree in Journalism (2003), and his PhD in Political Science (2004) from House-of-Spam Internet Marketing

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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