Written by Bureau
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Topics: New York, bedbugs

Thursday, 28 October 2010

image for Bedbugs Take Manhattan, Then They'll Take Berlin!

The plague of bedbugs have overran New York City, being attacked by pest control from the Statue of Liberty to Carnegie Hall.

Now they're at the United Nations!

Yesterday the United Nations found evidence of bedbugs in most of the furniture on the 19th and 20th floors of the Secretariat Building in the 1B area of the Library Building, according to a note sent to United Nations correspondents from the press office this week .

The furniture was promptly moved to an unoccupied part of the building for fumigation. But fumigation does not get rid of them, only 90%. At the rate the bugs breed, they will have replaced their lost loved ones in less than two weeks.

Now they are trying bedbug sniffing dogs to hunt the bugs down and get them before they begin spreading.

"It's a steady business for us", a pest control worker told us. "We start at one place and by the time we finish the whole area, it's time to go back to the original place and start again."

Thus far, all the pest control people are doing is to limit the total number, but what will happen if these build up an immunity?

Also, what is in the fumigation and how does it affect people.

This afternoon there have been reports of cockroaches in missile silos both here and in Russia.

Is there a plan to set the nukes off so that only the cockroaches and bedbugs will survive to rule the world?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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