Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 27 October 2010

image for Randy and Evi Quaid To Star In "The Hollywood Star Whackers Vs. The Halloween Pumpkin Punks"
Randy Quaid dressed up as an old woman in order to hide from the Hollywood Star Whackers.

HOLLYWOOD - Cripple Creek Pictures in association with TriMoon Films has just announced that filming will soon begin on the new Hollywood-Halloween suspense thriller by Italian director Staccato Monteverdi.

The movie entitled The Hollywood Star Whackers Vs. The Halloween Pumpkin Punks will star Mr. and Mrs. Randy Quaid, who have traveled to Canada to seek asylum from 'folks' they say are out to kidnap them and force them to move to the poor side of Wasilla, Alaska.

The Quaids seem to be spending quite a bit of time in the national limelight ever since they held up a Snow Queen Shop in Rio Bravo, Texas, last December and escaped with $85, two banana splits, and a coupon good for $1 off of their next Snow Queen purchase.

Evi Quaid, who resembles Courtney Love, except only skinnier, taller, and a little stupider looking has been known to do her laundry at public laundromats wearing a skimpy black bikini swimsuit.

Randy, who starred in such classics as the Vacation movies with Chevy Chase, the Long Riders with David Carradine, Brokeback Mountain with Heath Ledger, and Footloose with Chris Penn (Sean's brother) finally shaved off his ZZ Top looking beard and now resembles Brett Favre, except without the football.

The Quaids have reportedly told the FBI that there is a clandestine group known as the Hollywood Star Whackers that are responsible for the deaths of Carradine, Ledger, and Penn. The FBI has not replied to their claim.

The Halloween Pumpkin Punks will be portrayed by the three kids from the TV sit com The Middle; Charlie "Boxer Shorts" McDermott, Eden "The Tryout Queen" Sher, and Atticus "The Whisperer" Shaffer.

SIDENOTE: The movie will be filmed in a remote wilderness north of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada because the Quaids were afraid that the Hollywood Star Whackers would find them if they filmed within the city limits.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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