MANHATTAN - Charlie Sheen, who is the highest paid actor on television, making $1.25 million per week seems to have an extremely hard time separating his TV Charlie Harper character on the sit-com Two and A Half Men from the real Charlie Sheen.
On television, Charlie's character loves cavorting with hookers. And in real life, Charlie seems to admire Harper so much that he is following in his footsteps.
Sheen was staying at the posh Plaza Hotel with a high priced hooker who suddenly said that she began fearing for her life, after Sheen began playing spin the bottle with the hotel room furniture.
The unidentified hooker, whom even Larry King does not know as of now, said that Sheen jumped up on the chandelier and did a belly flop onto the sofa. He landed on his face and then started yelling that she (the hooker) had hit him with an open umbrella.
She quickly ran and hid in the closet and started screaming out help in three different languages.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Since this is New York City, the world's melting pot, it is not unusual for most hookers to be able to speak Spanish and Yiddish as well as English.]
After about seven minutes of screaming, a Filipino busboy heard the hooker and quickly called the Jewish manager, who then sent two Samoan hotel security guards to Sheen's room.
When they arrived they found Sheen lying on the floor holding a bag of Fritos and uttering what sounded to be "I want my piano, I want my piano" which is a reference to the piano on his show on which his character writes his commercial jingles.
A spokesperson for Sheen stated that Mr. Sheen was fine and that he had just had a reaction from some allergy medication that he had taken with his bowl of Cocoa Pebbles cereal.
SIDENOTE: Sheen was taken to a psychiatric ward where he will be evaluated and will probably be forced to take anger management classes as well as stupidity classes.