Written by anthonyrosania
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Tuesday, 26 October 2010

image for Taylor Momsen -Cindy Lou Who From 'Grinch' Movie- Flashes Her Underage T-ts Onstage.
ABOVE: They're t-ts, you idiot. I needed to captionize this? They're t-ts! Baby feeders, rib balloons, Ben and Jerrys

Remember Cindy Lou Who, the cute little blonde girl who brought a quiet charm and grace to the role in 2000's 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas', the Ron Howard-directed movie featuring Jim Carrey as the Grinch?

If you are like most people, you thought to yourself, "Gee, I wonder when she'll be old enough to go flashing her funbags on stage?"

Well, the wait is over, because the actress who played sweet little Cindy Lou Who, Taylor Momsen, is all grown up.

Momset, 17, is now on a show called "Gossip Girl", on the CW network, which I couldn't watch if I wanted to because parent company News Corp is still fighting with my cable company.

She is also the lead singer in a band called The Pretty Reckless, which gave Cindy the forum for her illegal-in-the-US voluntary nip-slip.

The 17-year-old attention whore was performing at a party at New York City on Thursday when Cindy Lou Who --dressed in all black and wearing enough eye makeup to make her look like Jared Leto, only masculine-- pulled down her reveal a pair of breasts that, were they not illegal for me to see in this country, I would describe as '2 firm, velvety promises of great things to come'.

"Underage boobies? Disgusting!" yelled some guy at the show. Technically, she is only underage in the Us. In the UK, one can foist their sweatermeat at adoring crowds as early as 15. For example, in Australia, model Ella Rose Corby, 16, posed naked on the cover of Dash.

It's not like there isn't any precedent in this country: In 1999's American Beauty, a then-16-year-old Thora Birch had a brief nude scene. Her parents justified the sickening scene by saying that the nude scene was 'integral both to the development of Birch's character, and necessary to remove the lasting vision of a naked Kevin Spacey whacking off in the shower.'

Her parents also said child labor representatives were on the set for the shooting of the scene, ostensibly to ogle her t-ts.

Jessica Biel also f--ked herself out of her "Seventh Heaven" contract when she appeared topless at 17 in Gear Magazine. Fortunately for her, no one read Gear Magazine, and even less people gave a sh-t about Biel.

Mummersen's t-t-bearing has not earned her any fans on the set of "Gossip Girl", however.

"F--king pathetic," said the executive producer of 'Gossip Girl', "She is a dipsh-t; really pathetic. She can't remember her lines, and she barely has any," he tells E! Online. "If she didn't show me her t-ts everytime I chastize her for being unprofessional, I would totally fire her ass."

Mummenschanz can be seen, dressed, more or less, in 'Grinch II, Grinch's Revenge' this Christmas. She'll also be featured at a number of rehabs and court appearances from 2011 to 2015, and at her wake, once her excessive lifestyle does her in.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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