It was an irate Justice Clarence Thomas that greeted the press in his Supreme Court chambers yesterday. He shouted out his first words,"I DID NOT have sex with that blow up doll!" He then showed the journalists a large box with a picture of an adult female doll on the side. It said, Wanda the Wonder Woman will satisfy your every fantasy! The doll wore a mini-skirt, had blonde hair, and full lips with a suggestive smile. Thomas continued, "It was a joke! It was given to me by the female staff at the EEOC. It was a joke!"
Thomas had called the press conference after it was leaked that the doll existed and was in his Supreme Court chambers. Evidentially, a janitor had come across the doll years ago but had kept silent about its existence. When Virginia Thomas re-ignited the controversy this past week regarding the contentious confirmation hearings of nineteen years ago, the janitor decided to come forth.
Thomas continued, " I have NEVER taken this THING out of the carton except at a few Christmas parties with the other justices. Other than that, it is an abomination that I didn't know how to get rid of! I hope this settles what has become an embarrassment to myself, Mrs. Thomas, and the court. I will not be taking any questions!" With that he escorted the journalist to the door. As they left, they heard the door lock behind them and could hear a record softly playing strains of the song, My Girl.