Written by Don Merlot
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Sunday, 24 October 2010

image for Obama Administration: Suicide NOT "too sporty" for Gays
Not as tricky as you think, Julian... oh... you've done it already.

Barrack Obama has admitted they underestimated the problem of homosexual bullying among teens in America, saying "we thought actually committing suicide as a result would be a bit 'too sporty' for those kinda guys."

The President made a televised address to America's young gay population, live from the White House, in response to a string of young people taking their own lives as a result of being bullied.

"My advisors and I were of the opinion that with the huge surge in programmes like Glee, Desperate Housewives, and what's that other god-awful one with the spic girl?... Ugly Betty - that's it! Well... we thought that'd keep those guys happy enough. Turns out we were wrong."

The Obama administration reiterated that they did not anticipate the recent spate of suicides, with a spokesperson confirming that:

"... tying a noose with a limp wrist ain't easy - and it seemed a bit of a macho thing to do, to be honest. We just didn't see it coming."

However, gay rights campaigners have been quick to point out that knot-tying is a special skill of both sailors and scouts, and was therefore bound to infiltrate the gay community rather quickly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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