Barrack Obama has admitted they underestimated the problem of homosexual bullying among teens in America, saying "we thought actually committing suicide as a result would be a bit 'too sporty' for those kinda guys."
The President made a televised address to America's young gay population, live from the White House, in response to a string of young people taking their own lives as a result of being bullied.
"My advisors and I were of the opinion that with the huge surge in programmes like Glee, Desperate Housewives, and what's that other god-awful one with the spic girl?... Ugly Betty - that's it! Well... we thought that'd keep those guys happy enough. Turns out we were wrong."
The Obama administration reiterated that they did not anticipate the recent spate of suicides, with a spokesperson confirming that:
"... tying a noose with a limp wrist ain't easy - and it seemed a bit of a macho thing to do, to be honest. We just didn't see it coming."
However, gay rights campaigners have been quick to point out that knot-tying is a special skill of both sailors and scouts, and was therefore bound to infiltrate the gay community rather quickly.