LOS ANGELES - The most honorable Judge Eldenstun F. Foxhunter has sent one of the most troubled Hollywood celebrities in the history of Hollywood celebrities back to a rehab center.
Lindsay Lohan, aka LiLo, aka LaLaLoon, aka LaDumbAssBitch, will be heading back to the Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic.
Judge Foxhunter said that Lohan will remain there for three months or 90 days, whichever comes first.
He added that once she serves her time she will be subject to drug tests every four hours. He stressed that should Miss Lohan fail one of the tests her probation will be instantly revoked and she will be immediately put on a plane and flow to Siberia, where she will be incarcerated in Russia's notorious House of Nikita Kruschev Prison, where she will be fed a slice of bread and three ounces of water per day.
The judge noted that perhaps then Miss Lohan will learn to appreciate how good she had it in the good ol' U.S. of A.
SIDENOTE: Judge Foxhunter also pointed out that he has never seen an addicted addict who is as horribly addicted as Lohan is and he truly hopes that the celebrity gets her celebrity ass unaddicted pronto (fast).