WASHINGTON, DC (UPI)-President George W. Bush has established a "Homeland Youth Corps" to educate and indoctrinate America's children into loyally serving their country, and to make them more likely to accept a future military draft.
Homeland Youth is the responsibility of the Pentagon, and accepts children of all ages into new brigades which have been established in every American town and city, in affiliation with local schools, military bases, and police stations. The Pentagon supplies a paramilitary uniform and training to its Homeland Youth cadets at special new Homeland academies.
"These paramilitary cadets will serve as a future resource, and will also act as cannon fodder for our future wars," said Colonel Bull Buntline, a Pentagon representative at the White House press briefing for the assembled reporters. "They will receive the best physical, military and patriotic training at special evangelical, Republican academies, and they shall also receive instruction in science, technology and weaponry. We'll teach them the importance of the oil industry, and of corporate sponsorship. They'll help our fire brigades, and in manning anti-aircraft batteries."
"We encourage these young adults to be ever vigilant and to be on the outlook for traitors, terrorists and those who criticize the American way of life," he added. Based on other Nationalistic Youth organizations, Buntline stressed that the new Homeland Youth Corps had no direct resemblance to the Hitler Youth of Nazi Germany, also known as the Jungsturm Adolf Hitler (Hitlerjugend), and the Deutsches Jungvolk.
"But we urge these little patriots to inform on anyone who looks suspicious, even their parents, siblings and friends," he commented. "Say that a Homeland Youth's father curses his GM car for its lousy gas mileage, or swears because he was just laid off by a large US firm which is outsourcing his job to China. Well, with a tip from his patriotic Homeland Youth son, we could then bring the disloyal parents in for questioning and if necessary, assign them to a re-education camp, or a work camp. Arbeit Macht Frei."
To end the press conference, a group of Homeland Youth dressed in their smart-looking, crisp paramilitary uniforms complete with Party armbands loyally sang a nationalistic, patriotic song in German. They then left to attend a large rally on the Mall near the Washington monument.
Exxon Mobil is funding the new academies and paramilitary uniforms of the Homeland Youth. The new Pope has also shown an interest in the new movement.