Written by Jan-Michael
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: missing

Friday, 17 June 2005

image for Search Called Off for Missing American Teen In Aruba
Aaron Dover- file photo

ORANJESTAD, Aruba - The search for American teenager Aaron Dover was called off Friday in Aruba. Aaron Dover was reported missing Wednesday, June 15th, to Aruban authorities by his brother Ben. Ben claims he and his brother were returning from the beach after a day of surfing when his brother suddenly disappeared. This is the second disappearance in the past month in Aruba. The other being a prestigious "honor's student" who disappeared May 30th after running off with three strangers who reportedly had sexual intercourse with her.

So why give up on the search for Aaron Dover and not Holloway? It has been reported that Aaron had a C average in high school. "He wasn't even upper-middle class," says Aruban Prime Minister, Nelson Odoober, "why should we look for a poor kid?"

The 3-man search team for Aaron was called off Friday due to lack of resources. "We just don't see why we should keep looking for this kid [Aaron] if he didn't get good grades in high school," says an Aruban official, " we have to spend all our resources on the girl, because she's an honor student!"

The 3-day, extensive search included special investigative tactics such as putting up flyers, among other things: "I yelled out his name for a little while, but he didn't answer," says Aaron's brother Ben," I asked the Aruban police to help me with the search, but they haven't even returned my phone calls. Besides, I gotta be at work on Monday."

"We also heard the family is a bunch of Democrats," says an unidentified Aruban resident, "so you know the American officials will not be getting involved." This is a sad mystery that will probably never be solved. If only he made better grades in high school, he might have been found.

If you have any information leading to the disappearance of Aaron Dover, you probably won't find anyone who gives a sh*t. BUT, if you have any, and we mean ANY information on miss Holloway, please contact anyone standing around you. Or just call the police, whichever is quickest.

Make Jan-Michael's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 5?

9 6 15 3

Go to top