Written by Jalapenoman
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Friday, 17 June 2005

image for Bush to Seek Third Term
George Bush proudly announces his intentions to be the first three term president since Franklin Roosevelt

President George W. Bush announced today his intentions to seek a third term in office. When reminded that the 22nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution limits him to two terms, Bush had this to say:

"I have gone back and read that amendment. It does not apply to me for two reasons. First, it says that no person shall be elected to the office of President more than twice. My detractors can all tell you that I was really only elected by the people once. For my first term, I lost the popular vote and was really selected by the Supreme Court due to the situation in Florida (which I really won anyway after the votes were counted again and again). If the amendment really means that you cannot serve the United States as President for more than eight years, then I am also able to run again. Most Democrats think that I have really only served this country for about three months."

"We all know that there is no clear cut Republican to run for the office against the speculated Hillary Clinton/Bill Richardson ticket. Dick Cheney is too old, in lousy health, and has no charisma or personality, so no one would vote for him."

When asked why he wanted to run again, Bush compared himself to Superman by saying: "I am doing this to keep the country in the hands of the party that stands for truth, justice, and the American way."

Howard Dean, Chairman of the Democratic Party, was very quick to respond. "Three months? He thinks he's served three months? Maybe by the end of his eight years he'll have three months. This is stupid. The voters of this country are not going to stand for this. First, they'll stop him in New Hampshire, and then they'll stop him in Maine, and then they'll stop him in Florida. Then, we'll go down south and stop him in Alabama, and Georgia, and Arkansas. Then we'll go out west and stop him in Arizona and Oregon and California and New Mexico,…."

Former President Bill Clinton, when interviewed by telephone, begin his comments with a lowly voiced thought: "Now why didn't I think of somethin' like that. Maybe if I'd done that, I wouldn't ever have to be First Lady."

The current President's father George H.W. Bush, a former President himself, was quick to jump on his son's bandwagon. "We've got to stay the course. F.D.R. was elected president four times, and he led us through depression and war. George has got to have a chance to finish this war and lead to country back to Happy Days."

When reminded that F.D.R. died in office before his war was over, not allowing him to finish it, the former President had no reply.

Speculation has already begun, due to the President's comments about the Vice President, of a possible running mate. Las Vegas odds makers have placed even money that he will also attempt to circumvent the constitution and choose the Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, a foreign born man. Others think that he will stay in his cabinet and choose Secretary of State Condi Rice or Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. A dark horse candidate could be current Massachusetts Governor and former Salt Lake Olympics President Mitt Romney, because he is used to controversy and being around people who are skating on thin ice.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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