Written by Spicewood
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Topics: Toilet, Signs

Friday, 22 October 2010

image for New Signs Installed at Stadium
I Can't Wait

After many complaints from fans, the Board of Directors of the Stadium have agreed on designating certain strategically located Rest Rooms for those who "have to go really bad."

Stadium Security have gone through extensive training and will be on the lookout for those with strained expressions on their faces, excessive leg crossing, nervous gestures and flushed expressions. They will then be directed to the closest "I Can't Wait" restrooms.

Time studies revealed that lines are longer at the WOMEN's rest rooms while play is on, whereas men use the facilities more frequently during halftime.

One board member suggested that all restrooms be remodeled and comply as Unisex Restrooms, with appropriate signage that could be electronically controlled from a central location.

At halftime, two-thirds would be designated as MENS and while play is on, two-thirds would be designated WOMENS.

Also, security guards and Event personnel would be on the lookout for long lines and relay that information to Urine Central as it will be called, and then changes could be made in the signage to eliminate the problems.

The "I Can't Wait" facilities would be placed near high traffic areas, and would have one entrance for both men and women, but a V-shaped entry, color coded with pink for women and blue for men, would guide anxious fans to the correct side. All floors in these facilities would have an automatic drainage and washing system in case of accidents.

Further studies are ongoing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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