Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Sunday, 17 October 2010

image for Newborn Taken From Republican Parents, Given To Gay Couple
Baby Jane

San Francisco, CA-- A newborn baby girl was literally ripped out of her parents arms and given over to a gay couple to raise early today. Family Services of California was concerned that the baby was in danger because her parents are both registered Republicans. The parents must now go to court, to get their little girl back.

The little girl is called 'Baby Jane' to protect her identity. She was handed over to actor Perry Hilton and his spouse Tippy Gonzales. Perry and Tippy work in Hollywood, and are both enthusiastic supporters of President Obama and the Democratic Party.

"Of course, we wanted a boy! But we are happy with our baby girl." laughed Perry. He and Tippy had a big party in their million-dollar home to welcome the infant.

"We saved her from becoming a Republican, so we're the heroes of this story." lisped Tippy. "Her parents are supporters of the Constitution, so they might even have guns in the house. Can you imagine bringing a baby into a house with a gun!" he asked with feigned disbelief.

Monica Stump works for Family Services of California and she was very proud of her case. Monica is a 23, and a graduate of Berkeley.

"The two parents are both registered Republicans and Tea Party supporters. I knew the baby was in danger. They are better off with Perry and Tippy. I don't know why they are upset, they can always have another baby!" she snorted with derision.

Late this afternoon a judge overturned Monica's decision, and Baby Jane was returned to her birth parents. Monica Stump was fired and sent to a mental hospital for treatment. Perry and Tippy held hands, as they looked at the empty baby crib.

"Whatever happened to Baby Jane!" lisped Tippy.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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