Written by JAB
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Topics: Canada, Ann Coulter

Thursday, 14 October 2010

image for Ann Coulter Claims She Got Jock Itch from a French Canadian
La Blonde à Montréal

New York, NY - Forty eight year old right-wing - "blonde from head to toe" - commentator, author and syndicated columnist Ann Coulter, described, on the Sean Hannity Show, how she got jock itch while giving a speech in Montréal, Canada.

According to Ms.Coulter, "I was invited by the prestigious Maudit Fou Sociéte du Montréal to give a speech on my impressions of Canada." "Sean, it didn't take me long but I told them among other things that, hockey gives you hemorrhoids, Diefenbaker was a phony conservative, poutine is vomit on french fries, Inuit rub noses and live on welfare, Margaret Trudeau is a pantyless left leaning liberal, Don Cherry sits down to pee, Lindbergh by Charlebois is the only decent Canadian record, Canada would do better being the 51st State and on it went."

She continued, "So then at a reception following the speech, this guy with a 'Bonjour mon nom est Jacques' on his lapel rubs up real close to me and asks if 'de bush is blonde'?" "Well I answered real slowly, almost baby talk -- you know Canadians aren't too bright, since, they have ten months of winter - and said our 43rd President George W.Bush has been out of office for two years and is now and never was a blonde, ok, Jacques, now parlez vous somewhere else."

"Two days later in New York I developed this itch and knew instantly it was from that beer belly Molson swigging rub-your-body on me Jacques. Let me say this, viewers, had Sean not given me that Boy Butter Personal Lubricant, that and he and Glenn Beck share I don't think I'd be sitting here with my legs crossed talking to you, Sean you are a true American hero and by the way keep, it up there with Glenn."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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