Confusion reigned in Congress today after a euphoric VP Joe Biden gushed on the House floor that President Obama was keeping him on the ticket for 2012, only to be shouted down by an enraged House Speaker Nancy Pelosi who yelled, "He lied....he promised ME....ME...do you hear!"
Biden, who grimaced so hard his hair plugs started to pop out, was forced to beat a hasty retreat and was heard to mutter, "Why, or why can't I get anything right....I'm so misunderstood!"
Biden, characterized as "My Sheriff," by Obama who put him in charge of watching out for the TARP funds saying, "No one messes with Joe," has been strangely silent lately as it turns out Biden subcontracted the job out to a host of Chinese Accountants, former lobbyists, and a few enforcers from the Pelosi crime family that controlled much of Baltimore, Maryland for years.
With reports that thousands of 'dead people' received 'stimulus' checks that made them turn over in their graves with delight, and millions of dollars unaccounted for, and not one shovel available for 'shovel ready jobs', odds were that Obama would be tapping (pardon the pun) Secretary of State
Pants Suit Posse Member Hillary Clinton for the #2 slot (pardon the redundant pun) if only to have access to the millions of Clinton donors, and the 'charisma' of the nation's Self Appointed REAL 'first black President', Slick Willie.
White House insider reports reveal that with Obama realizing he's going down in the mid term elections, and his popularity lower than whale shit at the bottom of the ocean, he's assured of being a one term President, and he's going for broke and will appoint close personal companion, and sexual surrogate Valerie Jarrett as VP after telling Joe he's got to 'stand down' by Jan 1, 2011.
Said one Washington insider, "Barry realizes he's done, toast, cooked....he couldn't carry it off...the job is way over his head, but he's determined to
fuck up as much of the country that's left before he leaves and he's got two more years to do it. He claims he's got 450 vacation and sick days coming, and he's going to use them....his claim, hey, if he's not in the office to sign anything everything will come to a screeching halt....and it'll be all George's fault!"
Las Vegas odds are 1500-1 that Impeachment Hearings will be held by
July 4, 2011...a not insignificant date in US History!