Brett Farve, The NFL's oldest living quarterback, who hasn't missed starting a game since 1972, says while he can still hand it off, complete short shovel passes, and run the Quarterback 'sneak', his days of sending long distance NAKED bombs on his cell phone are over!
Claiming the tendonitis in his elbow has travelled down to both of his thumbs,
Farve said texting notes and pix around to his female fans has just become
'way too painful.'
Farve, who in his career has completed at least 33 passes to women every day on his cell phone says the time has come to 'shut it down.' If indeed this is the end of Brett's Social Life as he knew it, he will leave the dating game with a passer rating of 98.5, second only to Joe "white shoes' Namath, and 6 percentage points above Sonny Jurgensen, both of whom had to rely on the US post office and black & white Poloroids to
score touchdowns with chics.
The announcement left a host of women unfulfilled, including Kim Kardashian, who recently broke up with New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush after he was forced to give back the Heisman Trophy for being a paid athlete ever since he starred in Pee Wee League.
"I was just getting to know Brett," said the diva, as she was interviewed NUDE
at the Oasis Sports Bar, appearing more comfortable NAKED then with clothes on as she continued her 'BARE IT ALL CAMPAIGN" for FAUX BREAST AWARENESS WEEK.
"He seemed like a down to earth guy, and from what I understand from the other girls, was a naturalist like me. He hadn't sent me any frontal nudity pictures yet, but he did send me a picture of himself bending over to pick up a bar of soap in the shower after they recently lost to the Jets....my, those defensive linemen are hung, by the way!"
At this point in the interview, Kim got kind of twitchy, squirming in her chair and excused herself to adjourn to the ladies room while her aide explained,"sometimes Kim just gets the urge to scratch herself...she has a very intense sex drive, especially when it comes to high profile athletes!"
Meanwhile, the Vikings are left with a void at Quarterback and need to find a backup by this weekend. According to inside sources they are checking on the progress Chris Sims is making in rehab, but as of press time he was still locked up in an intense encounter session with Linday Lohan as they both
sought solutions to release their demons and get to the bottom of their obsession with drugs.
Meanwhile a small internet company has started a new ad campaign with a frustrated fan wearing only a raincoat standing outside a famous stadium
shouting 'CAN YOU SEE ME NOW?'
While Brett leaves the game with most consecutive starts, he also leads the list with most fumbles and more importantly, most interceptions, the most painful being the last where his wife picked off a tipped pass in the end zone intended for Tight End Tila Tequila which exposed him as "just another wrinkled old jock trying to make a comeback."