A gay man with a haemorrhoid so large, that his arse looks like it has an Adidas Jabulani coming out of it, has been told by a hospital in Texas that he cannot have an operation to lance the pesky growth, and that he will have to wait until it gets bigger and finally explodes before he can receive treatment.
The man, Larry Sabu, 20, has had the horrendous haemorrhoid since he was 4 years old, and has nurtured it ever since. His main hobby of being buggered has greatly assisted in the massive enlargement of the pile, through being constantly poked by other men's cocks.
Dr Jonathan Mabuse of the Fort Worth Anal Clinic in Fort Worth, said "The reason this man has a haemorrhoid is that he can't keep other men's dicks out of his ass. Now he has a severe problem, but it's so large that we can't touch it. He'll have to wait until it eventually blows up, and then we'll treat it with a round of laughter."