Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Mexico, Cruise

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

image for Cancun, Mexico Bound American Cruise Ship Disappears - Authorities Suspect Foul Play
A photo of The Golden Goddess of The Third Coast taken off the coast of Brownsville, Texas.

GALVESTON - The 953-foot long luxury cruise ship The Golden Goddess of The Third Coast left the port of Galveston bound for Cancun, Yucatan, Mexico a few days ago.

The United States Coast Guard reports that they have lost communications with the huge vessel and are concerned that the infamous Mexican drug cartel based in Yucatan, The Green Guacamole Drug Cartel may be responsible.

A spokesperson for the USCC, Captain Maynard W. Poofburger stated that the luxury liner is longer than three football fields laid end to end. He added that The Golden Goddess of The Third Coast left Texas with passengers and crew numbering 4,007.

The captain of the ship Captain Nathaniel Muffingarden has over 30 years of experience and he was recently honored in Galveston with a plaque commemorating the fact that in those 30 years not one of his ships has ever hit an iceberg, a school of sperm whales, or another luxury liner.

CNN, FOX, and the Weather Channel are all reporting that the last time contact was made with the ship, it was located 13 miles northwest of Cancun and the sound of mariachi music could be heard in the background.

The government of Mexico has offered a reward of one million pesos [$80,517 U.S.] for any information leading to the whereabouts of the 953 foot American luxury liner.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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