Written by Bureau
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Topics: Drugs

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

image for Drug Mule "Deep Ass" To Give Evidence In Court

Finally some direct evidence on the Mexican Drug Cartel will be given by "Henrietta" in a court in Arizona this morning. Henrietta is a direct descendant of "Francis The Talking Mule" and is one of only three talking mules left in the world.

"I'll never forget the experience", stated Henrietta to Judge Wilber Young. "If you think those human mules are filled up in the rear, your honor, you should be a jackass."

Henrietta was then silenced by the judge's gavel and his ordering her to quit "calling me a jackass!"

Further evidence was given by Henrietta that "every hole in her body was stuffed".

"You talk about some good shit, they put the prime stuff up my wazzoo and warned me that a fart could lead to a bullet in the head."

Henrietta stated that she knew that giving state's evidence would place her in harms way but that she had agreed to talk because the United States Government had promised her enough coke to help her get off the drug and to place her in the witness protection program.

"I got the habit from seepage", stated the mule.

"There we have it, folks. It's now on record and Henrietta has spilled her guts...well, not yet. I feel for this mule because they probably won't hide her in Washington DC, where she would be lost amount the other jackasses.

This is Bill Fluharty reporting from Phoenix, Arizona!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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