SACRAMENTO - Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger sat in his California governor's mansion and told a throng of assembled reporters that he has decided to ban the age old tradition of Halloween.
The governor said that there are several reasons why he has made this decision. First and foremost is the cost. He says that last year the state of California spent over $14 million in extra security making sure that some of the states 'flakes' didn't kidnap some of the little ghosts, goblins, and witches.
Schwarzenegger also stated that his office had received countless letters, phone calls, emails, and text messages of complaints from noted tax-paying residents such as Nancy Pelosi, Larry King, Burt Reynolds, Chaz Bono, Jay Leno, and Kathy Griffin who said that they did not appreciate hundreds and even thousands of Halloween masks in their likeness being sold as objects of scariness.
The governor even suggested to the celebrities that maybe he could convince the mask makers to donate a portion of the mask proceeds to help pay off the enormous state debt.
Chaz Bono was the only one who said that she would agree to that. Burt Reynolds, ever the businessman, said that he would consider changing his mind if he received half of the total sales of his particular mask.
Leno replied that he is tired of people making fun of his humongous chin and he especially did not want little kids laughing at other little kids who would be wearing his mask which is literally 50 percent chin.
Griffin noted that ever since Sarah Palin's ex-future son-in-law Levi Johnston dumped her because he said she was older than his mother she has only had one date, and that was with Carloto Rio Picante, a 67-year-old, 345 pound illegal alien from Argentina.
Suggested Reading. To read more on the interesting holiday known as Halloween read Brooklyn native Gunther Appleweather's book, 'Hey Youse, I Got Jur Jack O' Lantern Right Cheer.'