Written by P.M. Wortham
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Tuesday, 12 October 2010

image for Pam Anderson, Jenna Jamison Approve Deep Water Drilling
Deep drilling approved for Anderson and Jamison

Hot on the news of the potential for lifting the deep water oil drilling ban in the Gulf of Mexico, aging porn stars and yesterday's Hollywood starlets are also reminding the public that their platforms are open for drilling as well.

Pamela Anderson, still being of sound mind or at least body, made a personal appeal yesterday during an appearance on the Ellen show. "I have minimum drilling requirements", said Anderson, "After a few months with Tommy Lee and his particularly extensive drilling rig, a shallow rig just won't do." When asked if Tommy could still be called to find the oil deposits, Anderson replied, "I think his pipeline is a bit rusty and shriveled these days."

Jenna Jamison echoed Anderson's sentiments while representing her chosen industry at a recent adult video convention in Las Vegas. "There's still more reserves left in my oil field", says Jamison, "It just needs to get drilled and tapped a little more frequently. My platform is definitely open for business".

Not to be left out of the drilling discussion, Bartholomew Buttryder, a 57 year old male video star who was also in Las Vegas for the convention commented, "Don't forget us boys. We need a little extensive drilling from time to time, and with the right protective measures, it can be safe drilling experience as well". Ending our interview as quickly as humanly possible, Buttryder was then heard calling out from across the convention hall, "Come and cap my well!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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