Written by eoinbsinc
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Topics: Reality TV, Mormon

Monday, 6 June 2005

In an effort to revive the once popular reality TV show, NBC has announced it will start shooting a brand new series of The Bachelor in Salt Lake City.

"Sometimes it's not about coming up with a new show, it's about finding a new slant on an old format. We believe the creative possibilities polygamy offers is the way to revive The Bachelor" Michael Wilkins, spokesman for NBC explained today at a press conference announcing the new production.

So who is the Bachelor? Well…Hyrum Goodbody, a call center manager living in Ogden is one lucky Mormon. Hyrum beat out competition from every corner of Utah to be NBC's leading single man.

When asked what drew him to the show Hyrum explained "Since my older brother got his book - Polygamy for Dummies - published, there has been a lot of family pressure on me to find wives."

When asked if he thought it was possible he would propose to all twenty five women in the final episode, Hyrum remained evasive.

"Twenty five women, take up a lot of space" he noted. "I might need to add another shower unit in my shed" he added.

Needless to say the show's format has drawn widespread criticism. Reports indicate that senior members of the Mormon Church are furious about some of the wardrobe decisions made by the shows producers. Allegedly at the request of Mormon Church Elders, NBC committed to dressing Hyrum in the traditional missionary uniform of black pants and a white shirt to "preserve the religious authenticity" of the production. However relations between the Church and NBC fell apart when it was uncovered that Hyrum would be asked to leave the top three buttons of his shirt open to "sex up" the production.

"This isn't a Michael Bolton video" one Church Elder is quoted as saying.

This journalist was able to catch up with some of the lucky female contestants participating in the show. Mindy Newman a horticulturist working at Zion National Park was quick to praise NBC. "This is a station with real vision" she explained. "Most reality TV shows are about competition, but in this show, we can prove that twenty five single women can work together successfully towards a common goal."

Sound ideal? Maybe so, but this journalist for one, thinks Hyrum has his work cut out for him. I asked four of the contestants to join me for a casual date at Starbucks and was turned down flat!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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