Written by Charpa93
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Topics: drunk

Sunday, 10 October 2010

image for City Names One-Legged Goose "Lucky"

A one-legged goose, who escaped the chopping block this past week, was nicknamed "Lucky" by city officials after he barely got away from a drunken resident who was looking to bag himself a free meal.

The goose was minding his own business when an unidentified Wausau, Wisconsin resident, drunk as a skunk, saw him at the edge of the town lake and decided to try and make a grab for it. "Even with one leg, that goose was faster than that drunken old coot who tried to nab him," claims city worker, Pat Petry. "Just as the drunk lunged for the goose, the goose tipped to one side, and the man landed smack dab in the lake, flopping around like a flounder."

Paramedics had to be called to fish the man from the lake, who suffered mild hypothermia from the stunt. He was arrested for public intoxication as well as an outstanding warrant and booked into the city jail.

Said one witness, "That has to be one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. The goose musta known the guy was drunk because he just sat there eying him the whole time, not moving a feather. And then, just when the guy gets up right alongside the goose, he ducks, and the guy goes flying into the drink. Funniest damn thing you ever saw."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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