Written by Stefano M. Stefano
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Saturday, 9 October 2010

With a lead in the polls over spell-casting Delaware Tea Bagger candidate Christine O'Donnell, Democratic candidate Chris Coons has upped the ante with a provacative, "I am not a genie!" proclamation.

Flanked by his wife, and the still very lovely Barbara Eden of TV's 'I Dream Of Jeanie', Coon wanted to voters to know that there wasn't any kind of super-powered genie magic happening to explain his rise in popularity in the polls.

"I am not a genie!" Coons insisted for the third time. To prove this, he linked his arms at chest level and blinked repeatedly. "See? Nothing! No genie powers! Nobody is disappearing (except Christine O'Donnell supporters! Heeheeheehee!), and there's no snow falling inside this room or lions popping out of nowhere! So to reiterate...I am not a genie!"

Gorgeous Barbara Eden leaned forward to the microphone and stated for the record, "Hi, everyone! Please buy 'I Dream Of Jeannie' DVDs at your local video stores! It's a really funny TV series! Oh, and by the way, Chris Coons is NOT a genie! Thank you!"

Distraught that her Tea Bagger magic wasn't getting her message across, Part-Time Sorcerous Christine O'Donnell replaced her spider web designed cape with one sporting bats and penguins, and replaced her pointy witch's hat with a bigger, pointier one, that was crooked at the tip.

"It's an original Versace!" the witchie-poo candidate gushed. "Grizelda Versace, to be exact!"

O'Donnell had no comment about Coon not being a genie, other than mumbling something about shoring up support from Tea Baggers, Republicans, and newts and goblins.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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