It's getting hard to find empty boxes at the White House. A string of resignations among the President's inner circle has fueled speculation that the handwriting on the wall reads "Get out while you still can" and those who are able are taking heed.
In an effort to beat pundits and nay-sayers to the punch, President Obama held an informal news conference while hanging out in the smoking area that doesn't exist, having one of the cigarettes he quit smoking back in 2008.. In a short opening statement the President denied that his administration could be compared to a sinking ship, but confirmed that until recently the rat population was out of control. When he had completed his opening statement, the President told the assembled members of the press corps he was prepared to give details concerning "The rat's nest I've been working in" provided someone would let him "Bum another smoke."
For the next fifteen minutes, the President performed a monologue sprinkled with a combination of Chicago street talk (to get his point across) and Pig Latin (to protect the innocent) that left no question about his feelings concerning the recent turnover of his staff. He finished with a simple "Good riddance," then began the quarter mile hike back to the Oval Office.