Washington AC/DC - (Crude Stuff): The lifeblood drained from the collective testicles of the Obama entourage today as former NATO supreme commander Gen James Jones walked away from his National Security Adviser post.
Scrotally depleted and shrivelled beyond tumescence the President's senior officials stood to attention as the General gave them the finger - er...shook hands in one last farewell.
Ex-Chevron board director Jones is rumored to have found evidence implicating the 44th President of the United States as the mastermind behind the Ecuadorean lawsuit.
This has menaced the mighty San Ramon supermajor for the last ten years in malicious litigation bordering on obsession.
A genius at decyphering President Rafael Correa's body language Jones sussed Brer Barry pretty early on "in five seconds flat".
"Class act, no mistakin," Jones has pronounced, "but I nailed him stright away over that damn crude hulabaloo."
The Quito lawsuit has tried to sting Chevron for $27 billion of fantasy damages in an environmental pollution disaster caused by national producer PetroEcuador.
Last week President Correa was very nearly ousted by his country's police force after a string of disasters linked to corruption.
A last minute deal saw the military broker a release and Correa - plus a very bloody nose - returned to office.
In 2008 General Jones likened organised crime in Ecuador to Chicago in the 1930s.
President Obama's ex-chief of staff Rahm Emanuel lest last week and is running for....Mayor of Chicago!
More as the news comes in.