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Friday, 8 October 2010

image for Obama Drops an SBD in the Rose Garden

Washington, DC - In a speech from the White House rose garden President Obama talking about curbs on greenhouse-gas emissions, let loose a 'silent but deadly,' "that, had it been indoors, would have left everybody gasping for breath," according to anonymous sources within the Department of Homeland Security.

White House Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs, initially, took the fall for his boss claiming he had "two burritos with extra guacamole for lunch."

Veteran White House correspondent Jimmy Olsen, who's been covering every President since Jimmy Carter, smelled a cover up and let it be known he wouldn't be blown away by the President, not owning up to his own pong.

Later, in a brief written statement, the President admitted to having had split pea and cabbage soup for dinner and had no idea how lethal his backdoor breeze would be.

It is widely known, that when Obama lived in Chicago he would regularly get together with Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Eric Holder, and Michael Jordan for a night of beans and franks and washed down with copious amounts of ginger beer. They would then play the 1920's, French parlor game, 'Qui coupe le fromage'? Wright was known to be able to get both a tuba sound and an 'amen' out of his cheeks if he squeezed them just right, Eric Holder, could pop a fluffy, for the count of ten while still holding his breath, while, Michael 'air biscuit' Jordan could dunk a candle from four feet.

Jimmy Olsen who is writing a book tentatively titled, "Pass the Limburger, Mr. President," tells of some of the expunged gas stories he's unearthed so far.

Bill Clinton, while he was President, let loose such a loud kaboom triple flutter blast late one night in the oval office that intern Monica Lewinsky thinking there was an explosion ran to the office and "well the rest is history."

President Ronald Regan - who was fond of jelly beans but also hard of hearing - would butt burp and continue talking as if nothing happened. The inside joke among the secret service detail was, "Your voice has changed Mr. President but your breath is still the same."

President George W.Bush would do a one-cheek sneak or jockey burner and then proudly turn to Vice President Cheney, and say, "Heh, heh, heh, mission accomplished Dick."

Olsen says it's an unwritten tradition that all Presidents have had incidents of letting one rip or doing a one-gun salute, while, in the White House. He says the remaining living Presidents "have a concern that should a woman become President the tradition might meet a foul death." Their hope is that the tradition continues and that panty burps, baking brownies, funky rollers, tail wind, panty hose stuffers, whatever, she may want call them will continue, when she becomes President.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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