Written by El Capitaz
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Saturday, 2 October 2010

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Go Green! ($)

With McLaughlin Group panel member and perennial democratic mouthpiece Eleanor Clift kicking off the trade show by screeching "The green economy is here, it will save us!" Several major companies unveiled new products designed to supercharge the coming "green economy".

One administration official, on the condition of anonymity, said "These new products are tangible proof that we are making real progress in the transition of our economy to a new, better model".

One of the products on display was a battery powered chainsaw. The manufacturing rep said of the new product "These are the first battery powered chainsaws powerful enough to compete with the old, gas powered models...a crew of lumberjacks armed with these babies could clear out an old growth forest in no time flat-and with none of the emissions of the gas powered chainsaws of the past."

Another company was touting a new bio-diesel bulldozer. "With this new technology, you can strip-mine ten times the acreage with a fraction of the emission of our old diesel powered earth moving equipment", the company rep stated.

The centerpiece of the trade show was the new electric vehicle being proposed by GM (Government Motors). "This will be a superior product for us to outsource to our overseas manufacturers". Said the GM rep. "Although the Chinese factories that produce the electric vehicles will themselves emit much more pollution than the cars themselves eliminate, still, it's a step in the right direction-the Chinese people will take the brunt of the environmental hazard instead of our own citizens."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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