Written by Charpa93
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Friday, 1 October 2010

image for If McDonald's Gets Government Health Insurance Exemption, Who's Next?

Rules are made to be broken and it appears that may be happening in the case of the fast food giant McDonald's when it comes to complying with the new rules handed down under the Health Care Reform Bill. We knew it would only be a matter of time before large employers claimed their bottom line would be affected if they were to (gasp) be required to provide affordable health care insurance coverage to their employees.

According to a report in the Wall Street Journal, which by the way, is being objected to by both McDonald's and the government, McDonald's is supposedly going to cut health care insurance to 30,000 low-paid employees if an agreement cannot be struck with the US Health and Human Services Department to help defray the costs of the health insurance mandate.

An official spokesperson for McDonald's claims they are not going to cut jobs over this but are seeking some type of exemption from the new regulations.

"Look, we know we were getting off easy not even having to offer benefits for 90% of our work force because they don't meet the standard requirements of employment to even have health care insurance. Sure, we did the right thing by throwing worthless insurance with high deductibles their way just to keep them quiet. But now, with these new regulations, more of our employees are going to demand better low cost coverage as a right under the new laws and we are having a hard time justifying that to our shareholders."

Other large companies who make a living off the backs of workers who are given part-time schedules in order to circumvent the benefits that their full-time counterparts can enjoy are likely to jump on the McDonald's band wagon due to this recent bit of news, which, according to the Journal could send the whole US economy into a tailspin and threaten the very fabric of our lives.

Wall Street spokesperson, Mindy Murdoch, 23 and fresh out of business school had this to say, "look, we're a news organization built on my daddy's ability to buy up media stuff. It is our duty to bring the dirty to mainstream America, get them riled up, and watch them battle each other over things that really aren't much more than a hunch. That's who we are, that's what we do. Get over it."

One good result from the news seems to be that proponents of the new Health Care Reform Bill, many of whom are the very employees of McDonald's, are doing their part by not eating at McDonald's even when offered the food gratis. This is expected to cut down considerably on the actual cause of the health care costs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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