Written by anthonyrosania
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Thursday, 30 September 2010

image for Opie & Anthony Will Replace Howard Stern in 2011: The Team Resign With Sirius/XM for 5 Years, $75 million each.
ABOVE: Howard Stern's nose, as seen from the Hubble Space Telescope.

In a developing story, internet sources, which are always correct, have reported that Opie and Anthony have just signed a 5 year deal with Sirius XM.

Even more shocking, the team is now slated to replace Howard Stern, when his contract ends in December.

"You snooze, you lose, Howard," said a source close to the negotiations. " Every day for two years Stern has said 'I'm leaving, I'm not leaving': Well, now it's not an issue. Mazel-Tov, big-nose."

Rumors have been circulating on Twitter yesterday that an agreement for a 5 year contract had been reached. And, according to a screenshot of the Opie and Anthony Chat Room, Anthony wrote "We signed".

"I invented satellite radio, Robin," said Stern, who currently works 3 days a week reading jokes written for him by Fred Norris and Benjy Bronk. "Hoo hoo. I can't believe they are going to replace us with Opie and Anthony."

Now that the deal has been reached, expect there to be ads running during the Howard Stern Show touting O&A's takeover, which Howard will complain about ad-nauseum.

"Hoo hoo, Robin. That'll give me something to talk about for the first two hours of every show," Stern said. "We'll fill the 8:00 hour with strippers and lesbians riding the Sybian, you'll do your news at 9:00, and I'll be knuckle-deep in my horse-faced wife by 10:30."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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