Written by anthonyrosania
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Thursday, 30 September 2010

image for New Graphic Video shows Chickens Fed Through Throat-Slit Machine at Restaurant Chicken Supplier: "It's hard to watch such mechanized and cold death being dished out, but we have to eat, right?"
Hey, this conveyor belt is kinda fun! Whee!!! Whee... Oh, dear God, no. No. NO!!!! <gag> <hack>.

The leading pro-animal non-profit agency, whose name we dare not speak, has released a shocking new video called, "About 1 Billion Individuals Are Killed Each Year for (name of international fast-food chain)"

In the gory video, chickens are fed, head-first, via conveyor belt across what appears to be a spinning wheel of death, systematically ended the lives of the foul fowl (and beginning the life of a delicious meal).

The organization, who are opposed to people eating tasty animals, calls out a certain restaurant chain, whose name apparently stands for killing f--king chickens:

"We consider these animals 'individuals'. In fact, we liken them to humans, which naturally means that it would be OK to set up one of these machines on a big time scale, and get to workin' on all the illegals in the US," said the organization's spokes-dog. "And all, and I do mean every last... Where was I?"

"I love K.F... Er, I mean, a certain restaurant chain," said one hungry patron. "And I sure don't want my chicken with the head on it. Let the bodies hit the floor."

There were plenty of detractors, especially after viewing the video in slow-motion, which was so f--king gnarly:

"That is exactly why I like to choke to my chicken," said one man. "Get it?"

"That has ruined chicken for me," said another. "I thought they died of old age."

"Hey, 'US pro-animal rights organization'," said a third. "For every animal you save, I'll eat 3."

"I like chickens. Not to eat them, they are pretty cool birds man," said one dirty hippie a--hole. "Take a day and hang out with a chicken. You will walk away a changed person, I swear. Vegetarianism now! Namaste."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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