The leading pro-animal non-profit agency, whose name we dare not speak, has released a shocking new video called, "About 1 Billion Individuals Are Killed Each Year for (name of international fast-food chain)"
In the gory video, chickens are fed, head-first, via conveyor belt across what appears to be a spinning wheel of death, systematically ended the lives of the foul fowl (and beginning the life of a delicious meal).
The organization, who are opposed to people eating tasty animals, calls out a certain restaurant chain, whose name apparently stands for killing f--king chickens:
"We consider these animals 'individuals'. In fact, we liken them to humans, which naturally means that it would be OK to set up one of these machines on a big time scale, and get to workin' on all the illegals in the US," said the organization's spokes-dog. "And all, and I do mean every last... Where was I?"
"I love K.F... Er, I mean, a certain restaurant chain," said one hungry patron. "And I sure don't want my chicken with the head on it. Let the bodies hit the floor."
There were plenty of detractors, especially after viewing the video in slow-motion, which was so f--king gnarly:
"That is exactly why I like to choke to my chicken," said one man. "Get it?"
"That has ruined chicken for me," said another. "I thought they died of old age."
"Hey, 'US pro-animal rights organization'," said a third. "For every animal you save, I'll eat 3."
"I like chickens. Not to eat them, they are pretty cool birds man," said one dirty hippie a--hole. "Take a day and hang out with a chicken. You will walk away a changed person, I swear. Vegetarianism now! Namaste."