Written by matthatt
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Wednesday, 29 September 2010

image for Marilyn Manson to become Shakespearian actor
I extend my hand to him thus, quenching my familiar smile with an austere regard of control

A packed news room sat in stunned silence as a quite normal-ish looking, apart from his yellow stockings and cross garters, Marilyn Manson, real name, Brian Warner, told the assembled titbit truffle snufflers of his decision to leave the jaded world of music making and search for another outlet for his prodigious talent.

After having filmed scenes for an appearance on the hit HBO show "Eastbound and Down" plaudits and praise were heaped upon the whipping boy of Americas Christian right to such an extent that he says "I suddenly realised that my true path lay elsewhere" There are also rumours of praise from an unexpected source that have met with an even more unexpected reaction.

According to one source, Sarah Palin was in LA to support her daughter, Bristol, and got lost looking for the Dancing with Stars studios and stumbled across Manson rehearsing for his scenes outside his trailer.

Allegedly, she watched from a distance and was so entranced by his command of all things Thespian, including his new cross garters, yellow hosiery, coupled with his doublet and codpiece, that she wrote him a secret letter, commending him upon his well formed calf muscles, encased within his Elizabethan garb and stated that she wished to see him ever cross gartered and smiling.

Sources close to the, now EX shock rocker, have talked of a change having come over Manson, frolicking, gambolling, wearing a Branched Velvet Gown and more worryingly, smiling. "He won't stop fricking smiling" said one insider "It's creeping me out! I keep thinking that he is going to eat me or some shit like that, but he doesn't, he just keeps getting nicer and nicer!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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