Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: Mariah Carey

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

image for Singapore Blacksmith Made Famous in Video of Mariah Carey Falling, Being Reshoed

A Singaporeianese blacksmith was made into an international internet superstar, after being summoned onstage by hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian songbird Mariah Carey, after she threw a shoe and fell during a concert.

"I am a blacksmith only part time," said Bak Kut Teh, the only person in Singapore who has more than one job. "I was here to fill Mariah's Bak chor mee and Chai tow kway order."

After escorting the team of mules carting in Carey's after-show feast, Teh was stopped by a security guard who knew him, and asked him if he could help.

"She exhibited excessive hoof wear," said Teh. "So I cut down the sole and frog of her hoof, and I noticed that the coffin bone inside the hoof was not lined up with both bones in the pastern."

"It also appeared to be covered with Ranch Dressing and Hershey's syrup."


That I had enough fat jokes to write 4 Mariah Carey articles? I am a self-loathing fat-ass.

That "hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian" is a real word? I use it as an adjective herein, improperly so, but who the hell will know any different?

That Bak chor mee is a noodle dish with fishballs, and Chai tow kway is Turnip Cake? Gross, right?

Teh explained that he was able to get a temporary hoof-boot on Carey between songs, and she was out prancing within minutes. And now Carey has a new fan.

"She was very nice, and she even insisted to pay me right on the spot in American currency, said Teh. "This... --'nickel', I think she called it-- will feed my family for 11 months. Thank Buddah, or Jehovah, or whomever my people worship, for Mariah Carey!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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