Washington AC/DC - (Reuterus): The President's chief of stuff is to fulfill a long-held ambition to run for mayor in his home town of Moscow.
The move comes amid a sudden vacancy following today's sacking of Yuri Luzhkov by Russian President Dim Eatery Medvedev.
Luzhkov was fired because his extremely corpulent wife Yelena Baturina made so much money from corrupt construction contracts that she out-villained Russian Prime Monster Vladimir Putin.
Commenting on Emanuel's new campaign a Washington insider said running Moscow would be a cake-walk compared to nearly two years of sectarian in-fighting in the Obama camp.
"Rahm has long cherished a return to his KGB roots and sees the Moscow move as a natural progression on his career," the Washington editor of celebwatch site LA FagHagSlagMag said today.
Bristol Palin's ex-boyfriend Levi Johnston has been tipped to take over Emanuel's position in the White House "because he knows when to roll over and play dead!"
Ex-Chevron board director Gen James Jones is one helluva poker player.