Having ruled out the whole "It's a small world" punishment, Barack Obama has forced off the rail celebrities to face another punishment: to play in this year's Ryder Cup tournament.
Many of the drunken celebrities are unable to hold a golf club, let alone hit a ball three hundred odd yards (unless you're David Beckham, in which it's more like 100).
Obama was quoted as saying "Lindsey Lohan shall be this year's Ryder Cup Captain and shall go to Wales with the intention to reform. Let's face it, I'm sending her to a place where she'll have to walk 30 odd miles to get a decent pint. It's in the middle of nowhere. Many call this rehab. I call it payback,"
Other drunken and disorderly celebs include Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus and not surprisingly Tiger Woods.
Tiger: "I'm over the moon to be picked. It's been a difficult year, but I want to put it behind me. I'm glad I get to teach these girls a thing or two, and I hope the pillow talk is just as good"