HADES, HL - Lucifer held a press conference Tuesday afternoon to announce his decision regarding Ted Kennedy's application for residence.
Mr. Kennedy applied for the permit to Hades after he was rejected at the Pearly Gates in 2009 after his death in August. He has been staying in a Motel 666 in purgatory after his rejection to Heaven.
Lucifer made the announcement after meeting with his Board of Directors for a special induction meeting. The BOD includes Attila The Hun, Ruhollah Khomeini, Idi Amin, Pol Pot, Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin.
"Ted Kennedy would be too comfortable here in Hell. It would not be a fitting punishment for his crimes on earth." Lucifer announced.
A spokesman for Ted Kennedy signaled that Mr. Kennedy would be appealing the ruling but he would probably be staying at the Motel 666 for eternity.