Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 21 September 2010

image for Donald Rumsfeld's Memoirs To Be Out In January, 2011 - The Book Will Include 34 Pages Which Will Be Suitable For Coloring
This is a photo of the Wal-Mart greeter, Tyrone "The Soul Sweeper" Tyler, whom Rumsfeld replaced.

RALEIGH, North Carolina - The former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was in Raleigh speaking before a gathering of The Tobacco Is Still King Federation.

He was asked how he has been doing since leaving pubic office in 2006. He smiled and said that he has been keeping busy by working as a Wal-Mart greeter and then on his days off he builds inflatable dolls out of kitchen matches, twine, Velcro, and cotton balls.

Rumsfeld was asked if he ever has any regrets about lying about the so called weapons of mass destruction in order to get the American people to support going to war in Iraq.

He thought about it for a moment and replied, "Yes." He then corrected himself and said, "I mean no."

Rummy, as his doctor calls him (Hmmm), was asked about his book which is titled The Known, The Unknown, And The Tons of BS. He replied that it will be in English and it will have big letters with 34 pages which can be colored.

The Book will include anecdotes that he personally received from the likes of people such as Ringo Starr, Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, "Dickless" Cheney, The Captain of the Titanic - Edward John Smith, and Chief Sitting Bull of the Hunkpapa Lakota Sioux Tribe.

Rumsfeld was asked if he was going to include the alleged secret intimate relationship between Dicky Cheney and Cloris Leachman. Rummy got serious and he shook his head, and said that he was not because Cloris told him that if he did she would track him down, find him, and in one fell swoop bite off his little peckerino.

To view photos of the former Secretary of Defense Donnie Rumsfeld and Marilyn Monroe, Captain Edward John Smith, and Sitting Bull log on to www.photosofrummyandsomefamousfolk.pix

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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