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Friday, 17 September 2010

image for Negotiations Break Down Between Barney Frank & Dancing With the Stars Over Partner's Gender!
"The Hokey Pokey" is Frank's Favourite Routine (professional non-gay model reenactment}

Just as 'Dancing with the Stars' producers were set to announce that Congressman Barney Frank would appear on the popular show in order to counterbalance the appearance of Bristol Palin, the light footed Frank demanded more concessions which have thrown doubt on his Comedic Debut.

Producers reached out to Frank after the Justice Department threatened them with legal action if they did not put on a Democrat to deflect the attention from Palin as mid term elections draw near.

Frank was the obvious choice as head of the House Finance Committee as his leadership would no longer be needed until after the election, and he admitted he couldn't do anything more to head off massive foreclosures and the imminent implosion of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac as they sank under the weight of yet more ill advised housing loans which he promoted.

Said Press Secretary Robert Glibb (sic), "Barney's not doing anything for the next 3 months and he would be perfect. We all know he's light in his loafers, has a keen wit and doesn't have any fatherless children. He'd be perfect to showcase Democratic Values and lead the fight against the Tea Party!"

Things were fine until the petulant Frank, who recently threw a horror show on the fairy (sic) boat heading to Fire Island with his weekend date over a $1 Senior Discount, demanded creative input into the show.

According to sources close to the negotiations, Frank demanded that he be partnered with Maksim Chmerkovskiy who won notoriety with ESPN's Erin Andrews for their steamy routines.

Frank also submitted a list of the dances he would perform saying,"It's only fair I be given routines I'm familiar with, you don't want me to make a fool of myself on national TV do you?"

On Frank's list are some famous moves of the 50's & 60's including the now politically correct "The Watusi," "The Stroll", "The Jerk", "The Fly", "The Hully Gully," and one of his personal favourites "The Hokey Pokey."

Also complicating the deal is that in anticipation of Frank's appearance, the Democratic National Committee (D&C)(sic), has launched a massive campaign of voter fraud and over 1m votes for Frank have already poured in to the show's web site before the contests have even begun.

Still not confirmed, but believed reliable, is the rumour that President Obama will be announcing his three (3) choices to act as judges for the fall show.

At the present time, although no names have been mentioned, two of the nominees are Harvard Graduates, one with a Nobel Prize, and the third is rumoured to be Climate Control Guru Rajendra Pachauri who is taking time off from the UN to write his 3rd romance novel until 'the heat's off' concerning his bogus climate change theories that have brought him $millions.

Frank is also rumoured to be 'highly pissed' that Craigs List has stopped running personal ads, causing the Congressman to go trolling on his own for 'Saturday Night Dates," and a partner for "Wednesday Night at the Movies with Michelle."

No one has seen Maksim since Frank's demands have been aired, but a correspondent in Moscow has reported he was last seen in a disco with Ana Chapman, and appeared to be 'very close to Ana, and definitely not in a gay way!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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