Written by Charpa93
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Friday, 17 September 2010

image for I "Heart" You Being Replaced by I "Teeth" You as Hip Bumper Sticker
I "Teeth" You

The runaway success of the Twilight movies and Vampire Diaries series has spawned a new teen trend that is both disturbing and dangerous. But, just like the characters they idolize, young people are willing to take a risk for love.

The habit of biting a boyfriend or girlfriend's neck to mark their territory and denote possession is quickly becoming a popular pastime of the younger set, replacing hickeys, which they say is 'so grandma.'

When asked if biting and drawing blood isn't a bit more gross than just sucking on skin until the blood rushes to the surface, one girl replied "Ewwww, noh, duh!"

"The threat of passing germs between partners or creating wounds into which harmful bacteria can fester doesn't seem to deter these kids from biting each other, drawing blood, and leaving gaping wounds for display for all to see. To them, it's a mark of undying, or dying if the wound is deep enough, love."

The trend has become so popular that the I "Heart" You bumper sticker showing a heart in place of the word "heart" has now been replaced with one that exclaims I "Teeth" You, with the teeth portion showing a picture of a pair of vampire teeth. Most teens agree it is a lame substitution, but they say they are so busy trying to find mates that they don't have time to come up with a more witty bumper sticker and most people who see it know what is being conveyed without much confusion.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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