WASHINGTON --- In a stunning announcement from the White House, it was confirmed that President Bush has been having a long-term relationship with actress Geena Davis. The couple surprised Washington insiders last evening when they appeared together at a small Georgetown restaurant. When a reporter approached the table and asked for a statement from President Bush, he was told, "Geena and I have been in love for nearly a year now. I am very attracted to her dimples and beauty mark. I know this is just going to hurt Laura a lot, but I just cannot control my urges."
Everyone who knows the President was completely taken by surprise by the turn of events. Vice President Cheney said, "Well, I'm glad this news didn't get out before the last election. The American people are very understanding, but this is a bit much."
Florida Governor Jeb Bush, said, "My brother George still has a lot of wild oats he has to sow. I thought he was all settled down, but there he goes again!"
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton said, "Our last president also messed around a little while he was in office… I guess it just comes with the territory."
Rev. Jerry Falwell said, "This is the work of the devil. I thought George Bush was a good Christian, but now it is obvious that he is a wicked sinner. I am going to pray for him and his poor wife Laura."
Spoof Reporter Morgan Truce phoned Geena Davis for her thoughts: "It all started when I started working on my upcoming acting role as the first female President in Commander in Chief. Once I began thinking about George Bush, I just fell head over heels for him," said the actress. "He's just so cute when he says stupid things. I'm usually the one shooting arrows but that little cupid sure got me this time. I do feel bad for Mrs. Bush, but she had her chance with George… now it's my turn to snuggle up with George Bush."
An old friend of Laura Bush said that she spoke to the First Lady this morning. "Laura always knew all about the drugs, alcohol, and wild parties that George was involved with. Laura said that she is thinking about moving back to Texas and resuming her career as a librarian."