Wealthy real estate giant Donald Trump offered to buy the land from an Islamic group in order to prevent it from building a mosque there and have constant troubles with security and "nutcases".
"If I can't purchase the ground, New York will fill up with religious nutcases and we'll not be able to have our normal greedy lifestyle", a special la-di-da Trump spokesman quoted from Trump.
The privileged poop-headed spokesman further stated that if Trump cannot purchase the Ground Zero area, he will next try to buy Mecca in Saudi Arabia or maybe The Dome Of The Rock in Israel.
"If I can buy all those holy sites and maybe the Wailing Wall, I think it would end a lot of this turmoil", the asshole breath spokesman continued.
Next the stupid bumbling idiot told all the rest of the reporters, including our own Peter Plunger, that if there were anymore news from 'my man, Donald Trump', he'd try to hand out a few words at a time. But not to get our hopes up.
After that, there was no more from Trump but a lot or words from the infidel spokesman that had been set ablaze by a riled reporter for 'The Perfect Purist'.
"Why do these religious nuts always want to hurt people?", stated our reporter, Plunger, who was trying to put out his shoes that managed to get some gasoline spilled on them.